Mom's, Your Pre-Teen is Dying to Wear Makeup. Now What?
Seeing your child grow up in front of your very eyes is one of the greatest joys in the world. At the same time, however, you are entering a new stage of life with your child - a pre-teen isn't the easiest person in the world to relate to - with their phases and difficulties - but at times, you need to bite the bullet and give it a go, to play your role as the supporting parent.
One of the main changes you may notice in your pre-teen child is their focus on their appearance. Pre-teen is a stage of life where boys and girls start to grow and develop - they're more conscious of themselves, the space they are taking up, and most importantly (to them): how they look. Naturally, every person wants to look beautiful, and to pre-teens, that mostly means putting on makeup.
Hearing that your child wants to start wearing makeup can be an exciting time (finally, you can impart your expertise!) and simultaneously daunting (what do you even say to them?). Here is a definitive guide to help you out when your child wants to wear makeup!
What to Consider
Before you give your reply, you need to keep a few things in mind. Not only is this a time for your child to grow and adapt, but it's also a time for exploration, and you must treat it as such. Here, ask yourself a few questions before considering your decision.
Is Your Child Truly Ready?
Naturally, there's no set age or time constraint as to when your child should be allowed to start putting on makeup. That said, it is vital to figure out why your pre-teen wants to start applying makeup. Is it because of their friends? Or is it because of the unrealistic standards set through social media? Make sure that it's not because they have low self-esteem - covering up "flaws" through makeup is never the way to go about it.
Is It Safe?
Once the reason is established, make sure you confirm whether or not makeup is safe for your child. At a pre-teenage, children are still developing and are therefore more prone to acne or related issues. Do a little research first - involve your child to give them a sense of responsibility and trust. If your child has more sensitive skin, make sure to confirm with a specialist before allowing them to buy anything. If possible, try to purchase products with the fewest possible chemicals.
Consider How to Approach the Situation
Depending on your child's reasoning, you may decide to let them continue with it or not. Carefully consider how to phrase your message and what you imply. Make sure you don't outright say "no" even if you disagree. The last thing you need is setting sharp boundaries that make your pre-teen rebel even before their teenage years.
Tips for Starting Out
Now that you have the basic questions out of the way (assuming that you're okay with the makeup), here are some tips to keep in mind as you and your pre-teen embark on a journey into the world of makeup. Chances are, your pre-teen is already well-acquainted with makeup - be it through friends or social media - so you'll need to tread carefully here.
Less is More
Despite what influencers and beauty gurus may have cemented in our brains, you do not need to apply too many products to your face to achieve your preferred look. Especially when it comes to pre-teens, it is important to teach them: less is more. Help them choose and purchase makeup that is suitable for their skin and their final look. They must understand that makeup does not need to change the way they look entirely. The less you apply, the more your features will pop out, rather than the makeup covering them up.
Taking Care of Your Skin
At pre-teen age, your child's skin will be more sensitive than most. Make sure they don't vigorously rub their face. If certain products seem to cause a reaction, then make sure to stop consumption and check with a dermatologist as soon as you can. It is important that the application of makeup does not leave any extra scars or blemishes - all that will do is contribute to lower self-esteem.
Washing It Off-Thoroughly
With makeup comes the problem of taking it off. It is essential that your pre-teen takes off their makeup before going to bed, even if the child needs to implement an entire routine. While several products are available for clearing it up, homemade scrubs could help soften the skin and clean off the makeup. Make sure your pre-teen washes their face thoroughly before applying makeup and after taking it off.
Respect Others' Decisions
While you may have allowed your pre-teen to apply makeup, not every parent may be willing to take the same route during their child's pre-teen years, and there's nothing wrong with that! However, although you may have the maturity to be aware of that fact, your child may not. As such, teach them to respect others' decisions and not rub it into the face of any child that is not allowed to wear makeup (even if they desperately want to).
Last but not least
In the end, what is important is how you handle the situation rather than your overall response. Take the time to talk it out with your child instead of forcing a resounding "no". Share your worries and opinions: let them know that it will draw more attention to themselves, and make sure they are strong enough to handle it.
Lastly, ensure that your child knows they do not need makeup to be beautiful. Beauty is not something you can create with makeup alone. It depends on confidence, the way you carry yourself and behaves towards others. Try to lay solid foundations that your pre-teen can build their self-esteem on.